Prompt, requested by morganel!
Natasha has the hiccups and Clint is trying to cure them.
“Cliiinnn –hic – t!” Natasha called frustrated.
A frowning Clint, abandoned the bathroom, and entered their suite, tilting his head to the side. “Do you have the hiccups, Natasha?”
“What –hic – do you thin – hic – k, you assho – hic – le?”
She was trying to be menacing, but hiccupping during her speech only made Clint bend over laughing. “Don’t – hic – laugh at – hic – me,” she threatened and he laughed harder.
“Sorry, Nat, but talking like that, no one will take you seriously,” Clint pointed out.
“I need – hic – to get rid – hic – of this,” Natasha whined, feeling embarrassed by the way her speech sounded. It was ridiculous, almost like she was drunk and as a Russian, Natasha didn’t get drunk.
“Well, Banner’s out, and we definitely should keep this away from Tony, Lord knows the fun he would have with this situation, so let’s think of those home medicines,” Clint suggested, while biting the inside of his cheek, in an effort to not laugh at his girlfriend.
“Right – hic – what are they?” Natasha sighed and rubbed her temples.
“If I may, Agent Romanoff, several home medicines include, holding your breath, drink a full glass of water very quickly, smelling salts and place sugar at the back of your tongue,” JARVIS interrupted the couple.
“Thanks – hic – JARVIS,” Natasha said. “Come – hic – on, we need – hic – to get to the – hic – kitchen,” Natasha was practically growling by the end of her speech, hating the little interruptions her hiccups caused. Why did she eat that shawarma so fast again?
Holding her breath? Lie!
Glass of water? Lie and she got her shirt all soaked.
Smelling salts? Awful and a lie.
Sugar? Tasty, but a lie.
“Why – hic – me?” she mumbled.
“I suggest, Agent Barton, that you try and scare or surprise, Agent Romanoff and if it does not work, you will need to wait for Dr. Banner,” JARVIS said as a last resource.
“Scare the Black Widow? I’ve seen easier suicide missions than that one,” Clint snorted.
“Please – hic – Clint, you need – hic – to – hic – try,” she pleaded, stomping on her foot when she could barely finish her sentence.
“Fine, I’ll try, but you know, you are not the easiest person to scare!”
Try Number 1
Clint left to train, and Natasha was left alone. Feeling hungry, she opened the fridge door, analyzing its contents. With a sigh, she straightened up. “Try – hic - again,” she mumbled, closing the door, showing a frowning Hawkeye. “You have to – hic – be more original. Hiding – hic – behind the – hic – fridge door doesn’t – hic – work on any – hic – body!”
“It worked on Thor,” Clint pointed out, smirking with the memory.
Natasha looked at the hole in the wall that Mjolnir had created two days ago when Thor had gotten unintentionally scared. “Yeah – hic – well, I’m not – hic – a God! I’m – hic – better than a – hic – God! So, think – hic – again!”
Try Number 2
“Clint – hic – hiding in a – hic – vent is not – hic – going to scare – hic – me, or jumping – hic – out of it,” Natasha said without tearing her eyes from the television.
From the ceiling she only heard a huff.
Try Number 3
“Please – hic – get out from – hic – there,” she rolled her eyes when she entered their suite and directed herself to the bathroom, closing the door.
Clint’s head popped out from under the bed and he took a deep breath.
Try Number 4
On the rooftop of the Avengers Tower, Natasha was sitting on one of the chairs, reading a book, with a mug of hot coffee on the table next to her. Out of nowhere, an arrow comes, crashes through the mug breaking it into thousand pieces. Natasha looks up from the book…and hiccups. She shakes her head and goes back to the page she was reading.
A very distant, but very angry, “Oh! Come on!”, had her shaking with laughter .
Clint’s last try!
It was the end of the day, and Bruce had arrived and was at his lab. Clint went down there and begged him for a suggestion to get Natasha ridden of her hiccups. Bruce then asked Clint what would be the last thing on earth that Natasha expected to hear. It was like a light bulb ha went off in Clint’s head, because the next minute he was calling Natasha and requesting her presence in the lab.
“Follow my lead,” he asked Bruce who only just shrugged and nodded.
When Natasha abandoned the elevator, she approached the two men and crossed her arms…hiccupping. Bruce’s lips twitched but he had the decency of keeping his laughter down.
“Tasha, the blood test results you did a few days ago came back,” Clint started.
Natasha’s eyes went wide and Bruce shook his head. If only Clint had shared his idea with him…
“It seems like you’re pregnant,” Clint said softly.
“WHY DID YOU TELL HIM?” Natasha yelled turning to Bruce.
Bruce only raised his hands.
“What?” Clint hissed. “You are pregnant?”
“Wasn’t that why you call me down here? To tell me you knew?” she screamed at him.
“No! I was trying to scare you, I didn’t know you would really be pregnant,” he pointed out.
“So you don’t know?”
“I do now!” Clint crossed his arms.
Three minutes of silence.
“Well, at least the hiccups are gone,” Bruce said.
How did I do?